Easter Island, isolated in the Pacific, inhabited by red heads? I am sure they will never figure this one out.
Yes everyone loves a good beer. Who doesn’t? After swilling a couple brews, your inhibitions subside and that horny funny feeling arises. Well do you want a straight pointer or linguini? The sad part is that hops are an anaphrodisiac which means in short that you are left a limp weanie and sleepy. What a bummer! One solution is to drink mead instead, that wonderful honey-inspired wine gift from the gods. Legend has it that the Viking god Odin was able to make love for 3 days straight after drinking 3 huge barrels. Not a bad campaign eh? Yeah but we are left with our love of beer. The bad news is in medieval times those Protestants put into law that hops must be used in the production of beer in order to take away that sexual feeling. I know I might be upsetting all you homebrewers and your love of hops but that is the fair truth. Before that our ancestors used all kinds of amazing herbs to not only make great beer called ale or gruit, but also made sure the sex was great. Bad news is that you might have to make your own because it is hard to find, but the good news is that you can feel like a Viking again on your next sexual conquest.
You can always count on a redhead to do something crazy! Like challenging the full force of a hurricane wearing nothing but his briefs.
Meet the modern day berserker, Lane Pittman. Berserkers, of ancient Norse origin, were known for their fierceness. They went into battle naked wearing nothing perhaps but bearskin, hence the name. In Lane’s case, nothing but flying red hair, white skin and blue shorts. Berserkers dedicated themselves to the Norse god Odin, leader of the Viking gods, a shapeshifter possessed by the spirit of the wolf or bear. Lane in his battle frenzy challenges the force of Hurricane Florence, shaking like a shaman to heavy metal music and brandishing the American flag. Go Red!
Watch his cool video here:
From Fox News: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/09/14/shirtless-man-stares-down-hurricane-florence-with-american-flag-in-hand-just-being-free-and-american.html
Perhaps the location of New Zealand was not coincidental for the filming of the Tolkien stories of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.
According to the documentary “New Zealand: Skeletons in the Cupboard” by Peter and Gabi Plumm, redheads were living in New Zealand before the native Maori. They present footage of what looks like hobbit homes for the little redhead people that lived there at one time. Stories of giant skeletons with red hair being found as well are quite astounding.
The lives of the Polynesians, known as Maori, that arrived a few thousand years ago were changed dramatically once they settled in New Zealand. The styles of their homes changed, they built amphitheaters, began using fishing nets and switched from outrigger canoes to bronze age European-style boats.
Compare a Maori house (left) with one in the ancient Viking settlement of Birka (right)
In Maori oral history there is record of people with red hair living on the island before their arrival. However, local archaeologists disregarded this history by ‘burying’ the evidence of these redheads that had been living there probably over 5000 years ago. When a native came forward sporting red hair and telling of a redheaded people coming from India, traveling to Central America and then to New Zealand, some began to question the official position. Peter and Gabi set out to explore this lost history of redheads in New Zealand and recount their fascinating findings in their documentary.
It appears New Zealand is truly a magical land of hobbits, elves and giants. Please watch the documentary that has been viewed by over half a million here:
It was a strange end for lovely redhead, Lara Prychodko, 48, who was found dead in a trash compactor, having fallen 27 floors to her death in a garbage chute in a New York upscale building. She was married to a Big Pharma exec and an associate of George Soros. Interestingly, Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner had lived in the building as well. God bless her soul.
After reading a couple of books on red hair by female authors, I felt seriously misrepresented. Being redheads themselves, these females noted that men with red hair have gotten the short end of the stick and ended up on the negative side of what it means to be a redhead. They claimed that you don’t think of men when you think redhead and that redheaded guys are only related to Howdy Doody. Essentially us “Rufuses” are just dorks. Perhaps this is the view of popular culture, but is it what redheaded men are really like? Personally, I have always looked up to Thor the red-headed god of thunder. So I did a search on the internet to find out if there were other red-haired warriors out there. Here is pictorial proof to the contrary that the only strong, sexy redhead is a woman. I’m not sure who any of these guys are except for Shaun White. Howdy Doody? Whatever!!! I’m a berserker and proud of it!
If you believe the Vikings series on the History Channel, it would appear that the majority of the Vikings were blondes. In Marvel’s Thor, he is blonde. The truth of the matter is that the god of thunder as well of a fair share of Vikings had red hair. According to Professor Donna Heddle, director of the University of the Highlands and Islands’ Centre for Nordic Studies, red hair was a cultural marker to the travels of the Vikings found in such places as Scotland and Russia. Now some would argue that red hair comes from the Celtics as well.
In my case, I have red hair from my Norwegian father, unless my dad is the mailman, and red hair from my German mother. Neither of my parents have red hair. My German grandmother had beautiful red curly locks. I have never met my dad’s parents but his kids from his first marriage to an Italian woman produced 2 kids with red hair. Yes I was treated like a red-haired stepchild. So if we are all to thank the Vikings for our red hair, I guess they journeyed to Italy because it takes red-haired genes from both parents to make redhead babies. Plus my wife’s great-grandfather, Angelo, who was Italian had striking red hair. He was a wild man too, wooing his future wife away from the convent by writing her love letters from his own blood during the second world war. Vikings were known to attack convents of ‘brides of Christ.’ I stole my woman from the Sister Theresa convent too.
During the American Revolution, Loyalists to the King of England were going around executing non-Loyalists. These traitors were having their way until they came across a red-haired lass with a feisty reputation for swearing. Nancy Morgan Hart was a 6-foot- tall, cross-eyed sharpshooter the natives called “war woman”. The Loyalists visited her one evening while her husband was away doing farmwork on the back 40. When she objected to feeding the angry hungry mobsters, they shot her turkey. Then they bragged about killing her neighbor. That was the last straw. Nancy secretly armed herself with the help of her daughter. Realizing what she was up to, the mob charged at her and she opened fire. When the smoke cleared, one man lay dead and another wounded. Her husband, Benjamin, arrived right then with some other men. They insisted the Loyalists be shot for their actions, but Nancy objected, stating that shooting was too good for them, that they ought to be hung. So they were. Her actions made her famous throughout the land.
Several motocross and super cross champions have all sported the red hair, such as the G.O.A.T. Ricky Carmichael and Ryan Villopoto. Why are they so good?
First and foremost-they have to be crazy and adventurous. Just looking at history, redheads have sure been like that. Just imagine, 25 riders or more with their engines screaming, lined at the gate, shooting for one spot on the track after being jettisoned on those 2-wheeled rockets. One wrong move might send you flying head first into the dirt. The chance of being run over if you fall is pretty high because no-one gives an inch in this high octane sport. Redheads are fiery which can translate to fiercely competitive. People with red hair can produce adrenaline faster than anyone else too. Good for quick energy.
Perhaps because redheads can handle more pain makes them more fearless. The rider would have to have fast reflexes and be quick for the start of the race. An impulsive nature goes without saying when it comes to passing other riders.
They must relish the thrill and glory of all those screaming fans if you win and getting on the podium with those curvaceous bodacious women while spraying the champagne.
You have to be strong and agile to throw that bike around in every direction possible. Didn’t Mark Twain say that redheads evolved from cats? Man those guys fly high in the air.
Let’s hypothesize esoterically- in the first Star Wars movie, Qui-Gon explains about little Anakin Skywalker’s fast reflexes. He says it’s because he can see the future and will know what is coming. The red-haired Merovingian Kings were known for their magical powers too. So you could say that redheads are Jedis on motocross bikes.