Hops, Beer and a Limp Dick

nuadaYes everyone loves a good beer. Who doesn’t?  After swilling a couple brews, your inhibitions subside and that horny funny feeling arises. Well do you want a straight pointer or linguini? The sad part is that hops are an anaphrodisiac which means in short that you are left a limp weanie and sleepy. What a bummer! One solution is to drink mead instead, that wonderful honey-inspired wine gift from the gods. Legend has it that the Viking god Odin was able to make love for 3 days straight after drinking 3 huge barrels. Not a bad campaign eh? Yeah but we are left with our love of beer. The bad news is in medieval times those Protestants put into law that hops must be used in the production of beer in order to take away that sexual feeling. I know I might be upsetting all you homebrewers and your love of hops but that is the fair truth. Before that our ancestors used all kinds of amazing herbs to not only make great beer called ale or gruit, but also made sure the sex was great. Bad news is that you might have to make your own because it is hard to find, but the good news is that you can feel like a Viking again on your next sexual conquest.

 

New Zealand: the Land of Hobbits and Redheads

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Red-haired Native of New Zealand

Were Redheads the original inhabitants of New Zealand?

Perhaps the location of New Zealand was not coincidental for the filming of the Tolkien stories of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.

According to the documentary “New Zealand: Skeletons in the Cupboard” by Peter and Gabi Plumm, redheads were living in New Zealand before the native Maori. They present footage of what looks like hobbit homes for the little redhead people that lived there at one time. Stories of giant skeletons with red hair being found as well are quite astounding.

The lives of the Polynesians, known as Maori, that arrived a few thousand years ago were changed dramatically once they settled in New Zealand. The styles of their homes changed, they built amphitheaters, began using fishing nets and switched from outrigger canoes to bronze age European-style boats.

Compare a Maori house (left) with one in the ancient Viking settlement of Birka (right)

In Maori oral history there is record of people with red hair living on the island before their arrival. However, local archaeologists disregarded this history by ‘burying’ the evidence of these redheads that had been living there probably over 5000 years ago. When a native came forward sporting red hair and telling of a redheaded people coming from India, traveling to Central America and then to New Zealand, some began to question the official position. Peter and Gabi set out to explore this lost history of redheads in New Zealand and recount their fascinating findings in their documentary.

It appears New Zealand is truly a magical land of hobbits, elves and giants. Please watch the documentary that has been viewed by over half a million here: 

Vikings Had Red Hair, Not Just Blonde

Jesse in the parkIf you believe the Vikings series on the History Channel, it would appear that the majority of the Vikings were blondes. In Marvel’s Thor, he is blonde. The truth of the matter is that the god of thunder as well of a fair share of Vikings had red hair. According to Professor Donna Heddle, director of the University of the Highlands and Islands’ Centre for Nordic Studies, red hair was a cultural marker to the travels of the Vikings found in such places as Scotland and Russia. Now some would argue that red hair comes from the Celtics as well.

In my case, I have red hair from my Norwegian father, unless my dad is the mailman, and red hair from my German mother. Neither of my parents have red hair. My German grandmother had beautiful red curly locks. I have never met my dad’s parents but his kids from his first marriage to an Italian woman produced 2 kids with red hair. Yes I was treated like a red-haired stepchild. So if we are all to thank the Vikings for our red hair, I guess they journeyed to Italy because it takes red-haired genes from both parents to make redhead babies. Plus my wife’s great-grandfather, Angelo, who was Italian had striking red hair. He was a wild man too, wooing his future wife away from the convent by writing her love letters from his own blood during the second world war. Vikings were known to attack convents of ‘brides of Christ.’ I stole my woman from the Sister Theresa convent too.

Feisty Redhead American Heroine Takes Names and Kicks Ass During the Revolutionary War

Nancy HartDuring the American Revolution, Loyalists to the King of England were going around executing non-Loyalists. These traitors were having their way until they came across a red-haired lass with a feisty reputation for swearing. Nancy Morgan Hart was a 6-foot- tall, cross-eyed sharpshooter the natives called “war woman”. The Loyalists visited her one evening while her husband was away doing farmwork on the back 40. When she objected to feeding the angry hungry mobsters, they shot her turkey. Then they bragged about killing her neighbor. That was the last straw. Nancy secretly armed herself with the help of her daughter. Realizing what she was up to, the mob charged at her and she opened fire. When the smoke cleared, one man lay dead and another wounded. Her husband, Benjamin, arrived right then with some other men. They insisted the Loyalists be shot for their actions, but Nancy objected, stating that shooting was too good for them, that they ought to be hung. So they were. Her actions made her famous throughout the land.

Why Redheads are Naturally Hyperactive

 

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Eric the Red, the fierce red-haired Viking who discovered Greenland about AD 982. NB: Scan of small illustration.

When redheads are described, usually words of energy come to mind, like fiery, hot-tempered and flaming. Picture Vikings raiding seacoast villages and establishing trade routes throughout Europe. Even the country name, Russia, where Vikings sailed on the Volga River, means ‘to row.’ The Vikings traveled far and wide, from North America to the Mediterranean. Ancient redheads are known to have traveled worldwide, evidenced in the discovery of red-haired mummies found everywhere, including South America and China.

Studies have shown that redheads have a propensity for hyperactivity. An Israeli psychiatrist, Dr Michael Bar, reported that redheaded children are three to four times more likely than others to develop hyperactivity. He said, “it’s possible that the assumed national characteristics of certain ethnic groups, like the adventurousness of the Vikings and the temperament of the Irish, are connected to the high frequency of redheads among them.” Another doctor, a pediatrician who specializes in Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Lendon Smith from Portland, Oregon, theorizes that an amino acid, tyrosine, that regulates pigmentation, is related to this hyperactive behavior. Smith also noted that these children are usually deficient in calcium and magnesium.

marsAstrologers claim there is a connection between the red planet Mars and the fiery nature of people with red hair. Redheads are notorious for their well-known hot-tempered, high strung and sensitive natures. In astrology, if the planet Mars is in your charts, it has the affect of placing fiery, competitive and almost explosive tendencies into your behavior. Research astrologers Judith Hill and Jacalyn Thompson made a discovery in their study of 500 redheads that makes a connection to Mars and redheads.

So if you are a redhead with many interests, ie ‘too many irons in the fire,’ don’t worry, it’s a redhead thing.

Sources:

The Redhead Book by Al Sacharov

Edward Snow Astrology News Service “The Volatile Connection Between Redheads and Mars”

 

Blackbeard and the Redhead

jessica chastain blackbeard

All you fans of Pirates of the Caribbean, there be treasure here! I just discovered a great new movie, “Blackbeard” staring Angus Macfayden. Incidentally, it also stars a redhead, Jessica Chastain, who plays a feisty, independent young lady who practices medicine and wields a pistol in days when such behavior by a lady was unacceptable. The story is well-written, historically accurate, with great acting and a rousing soundtrack. With all the elements of a classic pirate yarn, including cannon fights, kidnapping, cutlass battles, marooning, deserted islands, garrulous parrots, buried treasure, drunken brawls, encrypted maps, betrayal and true love, it is well worth a watch. Check it out!

Redheads are Gathering Around the World

Udmurtia Redhaired festivalGingers of the World, Unite!

This is the motto of a red-haired festival in a location that might surprise: Russia. The Udmurtia ethnic nation claims to have the most red hair outside Ireland.

At first thought, the idea of redheads uniting around the world was a little perplexing. What would be the purpose? Personally, would I want to be around a bunch of people like myself? I guess I relish being unique in the world. In fact it might be a little scary, the thought that our red hair might all catch on fire or a big fight might break out. Perhaps take over the world!

Places where you should encounter red hair!

montana renfest

Billings, Montana June 2-3, 2018

 

gingestfest in boise

Gingerfest V in Boise, Idaho on June 8th, 2018

 

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Redhead Days in Chicago, Illinois on July 6-8, 2018

Redheads Unite of Colorado

Redheads Unite in Colorado on July 14, 2018

 

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Celtic Festival Missoula, Montana on July 28, 2018

 

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Irish Festival, St. Paul, Mn Aug 10-12, 2018- Good times!

 

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Vista Viking Festival, Vista, Ca Sept. 22-23, 2018-  I highly recommend this event.

 

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Redhead Days in the Netherlands

 

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Redhead Picnic in Dunbar West Virginia in September 2018

 

 

Redhead Conspiracy Theory

The most amazing conspiracy theory about redheads is that they traveled around the world in ancient times creating civilization. Evidence for this is the discovery of redhead mummies found worldwide. This behavior was carried on several thousand years later with the Vikings who traveled across Russia establishing trade routes, who founded Dublin in Ireland and sailed all the way to modern day Nova Scotia, 500 years before Columbus.

Nomadic Scythians: Red-haired Vikings on Horses

Battle-Scythians-and-Slavs

…have all deep blue eyes, and bright red hair – Herodotus

Meet a fierce group of nomadic redheads that lived 2500 years ago in what is present day Crimea, ruling the area for 500 years starting circa 800BC. These people created arrowheads that could pierce metal armor. They could ride horseback and shoot arrows with deadly accuracy. Shamans would mix blood and venom from vipers and dip the arrows to make them doubly lethal. A recent archaeological dig in a Scythian burial mound revealed a golden cup with residue of opium and cannabis on the inside, evidence of magic rituals involving hallucinogens. Female warriors have been found in graves wearing armor. It has been suggested this is the source for the Amazons. Then Amazons would have been redheads. Figures-don’t mess with a redheaded woman!

http://www.ancient-origins.net/artifacts-ancient-technology/poison-ak47-ancient-0010101

https://www.realmofhistory.com/2016/07/09/10-facts-scythians-warfare/

The Red-Haired Angel of Italy

 

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Naples, Italy

My great-grandfather Angelo was pure blooded Italian, born and raised in the Old Country. He was also a redhead, with blue eyes and a temper to match. His wealthy family owned a pizzeria in Naples, and eventually open Prima Pizza in Cornwall, NY, now in its third generation and still in the family.

Growing up in Italy, Angelo fell in love with a poor farm girl, Rose. The only complication was she was set to become a nun, and already living in a convent. Being a redhead, however, Angelo was not deterred. He wooed her secretly over the convent garden wall, and when he was sent away to war, he wrote her love letters in his own blood. They were eventually married, moved to America and had ten children plus two adopted girls.

Luckily for him, he had chosen a saint as his bride. My great-grandmother Rose was as calm, humble and obedient as he was fiery, proud and rash. She must have realized her special calling in being married to a red-head. She used to say, in broken Italian, that it was her mission in life to “fight the evil through him!” Named after her, and married to a redhead myself, it seems she has passed that mission on to me.